❤ Myself & all those who stood by me!...

Thursday, February 21, 2008;

hey ppl... finalyy overcame my laziness to blog... to appease my faithful readers... or wadsz left of them... lol

just to update... im still in Barclays... LOL.. extended for another 3 months but in another dept... Compliance this time... more of the monitoring and regulatory portion of a bank... so far so good... not as stress... cos i dun have to jaga trades anymore...

well it's a good thing in a way... at least i get to taste a different aspect in a bank to have a clearer picture of wad the whole bank is actually doing... then i can decide wad i want to do... the pays fine too... maybe slightly lesser than any starting pay if i find a job outside... not a bad deal aft all... swee la...

sumthing interesting happened to me somewhat previous night, last night and today... suddenly tht 'feeling' just doesn't exist anymore... i can safely say... i've moved on... maybe not totally... but the majority i would say... yes to all my frens out there... sorry for being the whiney ass this 2 months or so... lol

but yah... i would say... revelation has don upon me... finally... no more sadness... dissapointment maybe, self regret maybe... but who wouldn't right? nuthing to hold me back anymore... it's true... loving someone it's 3 fold; family, the personality, the person... it's just not love alone but 3 different aspects that must be met... love it's a 2 way traffic... loving someone shouldn't be so hard... and my family's wellfare is also at stake... i dun think i can trust someone to take care of my family if she can't even love them... i just dun see it... lucky me... =)

see la jerry... all your fault... nb if only you didn't jio me to BKK... lol

at least i have a new focus in life now... and it's for the better... i aim 5 years... to make a name for myself... and things will go from there.... =)

miss you daddy... but i know you're always there... i can feel it.

ok sleep liao... tml work b4 the weekend... have some plans... to relax. swee... life's on the up slope again... nice nice...

take care everyone... Godspeed with you! Nitez.

Lovefree 11:27:00 PM

Wednesday, February 13, 2008;

2 more days till my contract ends...

just cam back from work... nuthingmuch happened today but alot of updating... haiz

today headache....literally. dunno why see comp today awhile kena headache.. this is bad... eyes also pain... hmmm

lol. later going over to uncle's house pick up vday cookies for my sis... haiz... tml vday hor... oh well... first vday not looking forward to. lol. just take it as another day i guess.

think tonight gonna slp early bah... head still pain. no tlc for me =(

tataz

Lovefree 8:57:00 PM

Monday, February 11, 2008;

woke up sick today... called in sick... hmmm... havent pua peh in like so so long le... well but today just slept and rested at home...

was lookign through some companies these few days and tried my luck sending my CV to them... suprisingly 2 returned to me... haha. Asiasoft and Music&Movement... 2 very different industries in which both i have some interest in... shall give it a shot and see wad they can offer bah... who knows may turn out fine. I'm just keeping my options open now.. banking is ok... but i dun think i'll like the whole ops thing. it's really not wad i want i guess. well my last week in Barclays le... see wad happens aft tht bah.

today's a quiet day... at least the monday blues are over... back to work tom...

just took med... abit gong gong now... think i shall go slp le.

nites nites!

Lovefree 10:52:00 PM

Sunday, February 10, 2008;

there's so many things i just wanna jot down now... well to those reading, note that it might not have any link in the tots... so try to make sense of it somehow. haha

was looking thru my blog just now looking... seems plain somehow... but seriously i dun have the time nor energy to really change the template. so any kind blog savvy souls out there who has a great template in mind can help me? lol. it's good that i can change it too... well at least a first step in putting things behind me i guess.

been self-emoing lately... kinda dumb la... but when there's a long weekend with nuthing much to look forward to... maybe thats wad happens i guess. i realise i only have like 4 links in my extentions... no wonder blog like so dead... many a times i feel that i'm just typing all these for myself to read. lol... so any anon readers out there who wants to link just lemme know.

besides work keeping me busy, weekends are quite mundane... wasn't like before. at least i'm spending more time with my mum and sis. my 2 bros also busy with their stuff... work or non-work... wanna meet also tough. well at least thet're just a phone call away.

guild's very quiet for sometime le... why everyone 'pumchek' le ah... lol.. oh grats to Sam, our 1st member on tio-ing helm! Pro liao lor... lol.

well having tots of adding sumthing to blog besides on ranting bout wads goin on in my life or in my head... maybe like write a fictitious story based on real life experience? or maybe start selling stuff here... but that needs more viewership i guess. anyone any ideas... kindly highlight to me hor... thanks in advance.

hmmm... so much misery going on around lately... guess the complexity of the human emotion is really a deep one... how everything that seems so right can just come tumbling down just like that... and how every bad and depressing time works slowly to piece together a path, a light a the end of the tunnel. life as it seems... much said like a roller-coaster ride... as cliche as it might be... is true. God planned this for us so as it brings life to life and not boredom... imagine everything so smooth and neverending like the horizen... it will come to a point where everything would seem meaningless even if it's at the peak. the construction of our very self is ever evolving...never ending... a high in life is just a reward for the last fall we took... as process as it sounds, it's just the basis of driving the engine in wad we all call life.

sorry for bs-ing so much but i just really randomizing wadever i'm thinking now. lol

well i had similar dreams the past few nights... good till when i woke up... everything just seems like a past distant no matter how recent it might seem. Those dreams really made me sad and troubled... but it'll come to pass. many a times i just really want to give up on wad i must do to seek wad i want to do... which is nothing.

ah V-Day's around the corner... memories of the distant past still lingers. ok thurs i better get home fast aft work less i get emo-ed by the scenes playing on that day. lol.

ok this might be out of point but just to tell everyone out there... single or attached! NEVER ever break up with someone between xmas and V-day... it's just way too 'can ren'... tormenting i would say.

ok i feel maybe i really might not wanna work in a bank... why the heck i studied econs man... haiz. anyways going to find my uncle to work on the proposal we had... sourced some potential overseas plce of investment... let's see how far this takes me.

lastly before i forget... thou not impt... but anyway... go catch the show The Leap Years! not that i know half the story about wad's going on but it's actually film made say 2-3 years back and now they are releasing it locally... finally. haha... but most imptly... go see cos will see me inside! lol... so BHB... but ya was doing 'extra' work back then so fun... those who know them... will see Reuben, Liz and her sis Meiling (think her name spell liddat... ps if it's wrong and somehow she sees this) also... quite funny cos will see us dancing and drinking wine(which actually is diluted Ribena)... so rem must go watch k? lol ---> thick-skin self publicity.. also dunno for wad.

ok think i spoke enuff for now... sorry for the verbal diarrhea. going to amend my CV to send out to some non-banking companies to see if got any chance... lol. at this point of time... everything also try la... thou some ppl 'scold' me say got bank offer dun wan... well i believe in living the way u want and not by circumstances. there's more than enough money to be made in the way... it's just how you wanna make it right? i rather have fun and satisfaction then regret... too idealistic...i also say but it's my life... my ideal life... take care y'all

matayimasho!

Lovefree 4:51:00 PM

There are points in time where a song just keeps playing over and over again in my head... and i'll just keep listening to them over and over again... for now this is it...

like it in every sense... dunno why i just do... lol

Lovefree 4:28:00 PM

Friday, February 8, 2008;

This year CNY seesm so quiet... today no visiting.. lol. Maybe meeting Reuben later tonight... dunno wad plan la.

Yesterday's visiting also very boring... seems like no one's in the mood also. it's very different without my Dad around...

Feeling lethargic today... slept quite abit also. ok la not too bad la.. finally can spend some time with my family.

collected a fair bit of ang pao from one day's visiting... having a long weekend is good. can nua... but feel's like abit waste time to nua... ah go find something to do...

anyway just wanna say i think someone is being bo liao again... everything seems like it's repeating itself... ok let's see how long it'll last.

i'm off... seeya

Lovefree 7:24:00 PM

Thursday, February 7, 2008;

Hey all HAPPY CNY!!! GONG XI FA CAI. May this new year bring many blessings to all. Wishing everyone good health and prosperity! Enjoy the year of the rat!

Anyway was driving yesterday and heard this on the radio...

Daughtry Lyrics

Oh well... lol

Anyway work's coming to an end soon... wonder what next? Time to move on to a new chapter.

Take care all... going granma's place soon.

Lovefree 12:04:00 PM

Tuesday, February 5, 2008;

went dinner just now saw this poster... it says

just live one day at a time

do not look back and grieve about the past, for it is over

do not think about the future, for it has yet to come

but enjoy the present, making it so beautiful that it is worth remembering...

how true.. how true... glad the past is over, the future's yet to come... live the present... =)

been able to have a piece of mind and rest properly everyday... partially cos tired from work also. Well can take this CNY to rest cos not visiting much... lol

ok tired le... think i go koon, nites

Lovefree 11:08:00 PM

wanted to blog yest... but work till late.. come home tired sia... just bathe and koon le.

haha... anyway yest was good. managed to get a few other job lobangs... see how maybe apply to all... junior trader nicer? or sales and dealing? lol...

yest so slack... no trades... had to act busy... lol. but then hor at 545pm... going to zhao liao... 3 trades came in... LL have to do... lol

one of my colleagues came and pass me something today, she said "this is from aggie..." Aggie's one of our advisors based in HK and she tong pang one colleague to give us ang pao wor... so nice... and their ang pao so so small de... the red packet is like half the size of a ezlink card. i try see can upload photo show. And inside she gave $10. quite generous considering someone i knew like 3 weeks nia. Some of my relatives i knew for donkey years give only $4.. lol... HK ang pao small small but inside big big... SG ang pao big big but inside small small... lol

the person i am covering came back to visit yest also. she brought so many stuff from Japan... she went their for honeymoon... Everyone had something... she got me this box of dark choc from Kobe... the wrapping and bag looks class sia... and she also gave me one ang pao... i didn't open it till i reach home... tot ok ok la $10 also... but my mum open and see we both stunned. she pao $50 bucks sia...

so yest was quite nice... im beginning to like this =)

tml half day... but i think earliest 3 then can zhao... when asia market closes. dunno need to do coverage on CNY or not. nvm act blur dunno... lol

ok shall blog soon... HAPPY CNY YO ALL... GONG XI FA CAI!

ciaoz

Lovefree 8:09:00 PM

Sunday, February 3, 2008;

CNY week lo... work 2.5 days nia this week. shiok!

hope this week all clients nua dun wanna trade... cos i also dun wanna do anything! muahaha. hope it pass fast fast.

happy CNY to all. have a blessed new year. collect alot ang paos... me not visiting much this year thou. lol

Reuben and Jerry asked to meet up... long time nvr le. it's bout time... finally on the correct road ahead...

fianlly... happy... finally =)

cheers

Lovefree 11:48:00 PM

Friday, February 1, 2008;

end of 3rd week le... work seems to be draggy... but interesting. seems to be having some prospect. Yesterday another colleague told me of another lobang at HSBC. Can get to travel somemore... should i? lol

ok la... life's pretty normal now i guess. feeling better now thou. CNY coming soon... but this year not much visiting cos most older relatives still supertitious. lol. take it as a break to rest and maybe meet up with some frens. MJ maybe? See can find ppl mah.

To all those working work hard, all those studying study hard and all those slacking slack hard. Good night ppl!

Lovefree 11:15:00 PM