firstly i'm sorry for those reading cos i'm just feeling so fucked up right now. i'm totally lost in me. the best place for me to be now is not in this world.
didn't sleep at all last night... and no i wasn't waiting for santa claus to come and give me my present. even if i was, santa would not be able to give me wad i want... who as a matter of fact. it's just too one sided isn't it. was i being 'da fang' for doing wad i did? or maybe i'm just subcumming to my own fate. maybe there's more to it then FAT me... wad hurts me the most maybe isnt hearing the blatant truth... but not knowing the real truth... maybe there are some things which i dun know... cos it doesn't concern me.
this really seems like dejavu ya... 1 year back... exactly on this day... the very first mention of breaking up... why? u know the reason... except it wasnt coming from you... u fought hard, refusing to believe... 1 year later... the very same reason is back to haunt me... but this time it hurts the most.
i'm amazed at the activity of my black which would give audrey hepburn a run for their money... pardon the crapiness
i've totally lost all feelings... temporal or permanent? time will tell. crying alone isn's fun. especially the angst of the heart pain when no one is around. maybe my tears are all used up...
the biggest and hardest thing i've been working for... appreciated ppl say... BULLSHIT! life's a BITCH... and one that crawls over ur head to shit upon.
i just wanna disappear right now. from everyone and everything... pls pls who can. even David Copperfield can't help me on this.
ok back to helping my mum pack the store room... amazed today i had the appetite to eat even half a bowl of porridge... PAUL u shouldn't be eating a single damn thing... u have to lose those FUCKING fats...
3:49:00 PM